One Step on the Journey Back to Myself
I have taken time off from work due to stress and as I spent time reviewing films such as What the Bleep and listening to Podcasts such as Marcus Buckingham's series on Finding your Strengths (Itunes and Oprah website) I became disappointed in that I did not receive the answers I had anticipated. I wanted to know what would be the next step in this journey of mine, if I left my job, which had become extremely unfulfilling
I read the Second Journey by Joan Anderson and received the following insight. Unclutter my life by letting go of everything that I am not totally engaged in. That is a great measuring stick for both activities and possessions. I also realized that it is okay not to have the answers, it is only important that I am asking the questions and passionately committed to learning the answers and open to input; the answers will come.
I know I do not want to stay with the Department of Corrections in the job that I occupy now; it does more than not satisfy me, it injures me and I feel like a victim rather than a leader. I need to do some work on moving out of victim consciousness of passivity and paranoia, in addition to moving out of the job. Next I need to ask myself what do I want to do in the next 6 months? That actually is more difficult than for the rest of my life, mainly because the next 6 months involves action, and now. Since I attempting to minimize stress, what will add the least stress for the most productivity?
For now, I am leaning to going back to work for up to one more year, build up some money, get rid of some stuff, while I continue to look into other options. This is only if I can do work in some other position than a parole officer working a caseload that involves arrests and field work. I will be requesting reasonable accommodation to accomplish this, which will probably be a decrease in income and perhaps a less professional of a job, but it is necessary.
If I do accept another position within the Department of Corrections, and should they offer one, I know that I will not stay if I am miserable regardless of what sacrifices I must make to leave. It is therefore essential that I stay balanced each day. I cannot come home from work each day exhausted with no joy or energy left for interacting with the community or friends and family. That pattern had only led me to a place where even my dreams were about work, how alienating a world is that? .
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Comments
it sometimes seems like it is an impossible task to change our lives to the way that we want them (for a healthier us) but we have to remember that when we fell into whatever rut we currently are in, it was a long process too, we just did not notice it because it was the path of least resistance.
remind yourself that for each hill you climb there will be a wonderful new view on the horizon.
I know that sounds like a lot of clichés and platitudes but they do have some truth to them.
I will keep you in my thoughts, and send you lots of positive thoughts
You may have seen this quote in one of your inspirational readings. I have it taped up on my fridge and whenever I'm thinking of making a change I read it, and wonder what the first step towards it would be:
Until one is committed
There is hesitancy, the chance to draw back
Always ineffectiveness.
Concerning all acts of initiative (and Creation)
There is one elementary truth
The ignorance which kills countless ideas and splendid plans:
That the moment that one definitely commits ones self
Then Providence moves too.
All sorts of things occur to help one
That would never otherwise have occurred.
A whole stream of events issues from the decision
Raising in one’s favor all manner
Of unforeseen incidents and meetings
And material substance
Which no one could have dreamt
Would have come your way.
Whatever you can do or dream you can, begin it.
Boldness has genius, power and magic in it.
GOETHE
Anyway, good luck Izzy! You know you're always in my thoughts here.
Izzy it is wonderful to see that you are working on yourself, your future, your life, and your happiness. Remember that nothing is worth than lying on our death bed with regrets...well, maybe living our life with regrets is up there too! But you are taking steps to make sure that doesn't happen to you and that is wonderful!
I wish you great luck in your endevor to find yourself and what you are passionate about. Remember to ENJOY THE JOURNEY. We learn so much and grow so much in the process of change. Be faithful to yourself and focus on you for a while.
Good luck!
By the way, what are these podcasts you are listening to? I would love to listen to them myself. If you have a moment and can give me the names of the movies, books and podcasts I would appreciate it. I am working on myself as well. Right now I am am listening to the "Secret" CD's and LOVING Them!