IzzyRocks’ Neighborhood

Taken by and posted by Doug.

You really ought to click over and see all the photos.   I promise you smiles!

I have culled my bookshelves.

I am ready to let these books go free.

Just let me know which ones you want and I will bring, mail or throw them your way.

Our last day was Thursday and it was a great one.   It was a pretty good week, actually.  I've learned to down play the holidays as much as possible in the room  The kids are so excited and emotional etc -- I try to keep school on a pretty regular routine for them -- their stress levels get high, they forget how to behave and some just burst into tears over minor stuff.

We made lots of cute little crafty Christmasy things, which I neglect to photograph for you (but you could just google "cute little crafty Christmasy things)  They decorated frames for photos of them and wrapped those for presents for their parents. 
We made the traditional paper chains, one for each day until Christmas that they can tear off each morning,
On Thursday Santa came.  A teacher, he's one of my favorite people; extremely religious, very right winged conservative and all that, but a great man and we get along well.  He's been Santa for years.  The kids totally believe!

Instead of going to the cafeteria for lunch we have a catered buffet in the room.  I beg the parents to send only healthy foods for lunch, and they did pretty well this year.  There were a few boxes of crackers and cookies, but I whisked them into the cupboard for treats for later.  The kids are soooooo cute, taking their little plates around the table and filling their plates.

The kids had a blast.  And went home early!   And 2 days a year teachers can leave early, too. My friend Julie and I had been working hard and staying late all week in order to take advantage of this treat! 

By 2pm we were settled at a big round table in a favorite restaurnat with food, beer, and buddies.   Great lunch!  And home by about the same time I usually get home from work.

And now I am all set to enjoy my annual winter lay-off.  ahhhhhhhhhhhh

Friday night was our staff dinner at a local Mexican Restaurant.   It wasn't too bad.  Wow .... that's the best thing I can think of to say about it.

Last year was the first time in ages we had one and there were more people there this year than then. 
hmmmm .... maybe they'll get better and better.  Maybe next year there'll be dancing!

Today I'm going to our local acting company's production of "Who Killed Santa Claus?"   More murder mystery than holiday feel good, I believe.

Yesterday, Saturday, I never left the house.  A very lovely day.   A friend came over in the morning -- we had to divy up the vegies from our Weekly Farm Share, and then sat around burning CDs and drinking tea and all that.
  
The rest of the  day was cozy,  getting chores done and (of course) watching LOST.   What am I going to do with my weekends when I finally run out of episodes? 
Last night ended with rousing games of 20 Questions.  You know, the game begins when someone shouts out either "living" "dead" or "fictional" and everyone else asks yes or no questions until someone can guess.   The names I remember from last night were Jethro Tull, Bianca Jagger, Micky Mantle, Kurt Vonnegut, and Annastasia.  Mostly I was laughing so hard I could barely breathe and imploring everyone for clues which they would not give me.
 

Thursday night was my book club's annual dinner out and book exchange.  We've been meeting at the same Chinese restaurant, at the same round table in the back for years and mostly order their excellent Honey Walnut Shrimp.  I thought about getting a photo for you to see, but ... the center lazy susan was whirling too fast.

I did take a picture of the books piled up before we drew numbers and chose.  And there's Julie holding up the menu in the back.  The original idea of the book exchange, since we've learned over the years that we do not enjoy the same kinds of books and it's very hard to choose one that "anyone" would like -- the original idea was to find, used, a book that no one ever hear of but someone really ought to read. 

I truly caved this year and chose a clever and witty journal type thing called Wreck This Journal .  I've had my own copy for over a year but have never written in it, so I guess it can count as a book to read.

It was a fun night.  Sometimes I look around at these women and think, "These will be my friends for the rest of my life, lucky me."   This was one of those nights.

What's your favorite thing about the holidays? Least favorite?

My favorite thing about the holidays is EggNog Lattes and I can wear red all month if I want.

My least favorirte thing is that Christmas becomes more over the top each year and I want my daughter to learn it's not about the gifts. & The anniversary of my grandmothers death is December 24th(2006).

And here we go with the Tiger incident(s)...

 

I emailed my friend and asked, You didn't sleep with Tiger too, did you? She replied. No but I'd sleep with Kobe. LMFAO....

*sigh* well.......

Kobe probably feels off the hook right about now from his drama. but let me give you my 2 cents on Tiger.  When I was driving to work the other morning and they were reading his email fantasy to one of his chicks and they mentiioned he pops Ambien before sex, my first thought was ...what???? who does that????

Ambien equals no round 2.

Hey Tiger- you wanna get with  <----------------------------------------------------------------------------this , Kristina.....stop the Ambien, you need your strength...your ass aint droppping me cuz you're half asleep.....You're short changing women around here Tiger.....That's why I'm saving my ass for a fucking Yankee....*pshhh*

 

I have spent the last week thinking that I ruined his Thanksgiving. I’ve started to think that having a relationship with someone is a bad thing. So much so, I didn’t feel the need to call my friends and discuss my pathetic life. If I were to talk to them, I’d make my topics general or lend a ear to them, but discussions of Kristina and whatever else…wouldn’t happen.

When I returned from California, I asked him if we were dating again….Which this is what it has led to , well besides a bunch of nothing- all topics were discussed over electronic communication which sucks ass. He asked me when I contacted him in Vegas, was relationships on my mind.

No.

To me Vegas is mutual ground. No one is alone, I mean maybe we could have been alone if so be it but realistically, I thought he would be with his friends and if we met up for dinner, then it’s a few hours of hanging out.

He said he invited me to California because we both wanted to see each other, we both won’t doing anything, why not basically.

True. I did want to see him, but the problem is I’ve been in love with him.

You see, when he first invited me I didn’t know what to think. I asked if was a “drunk invite” I asked if was really inviting me. He claims he was truly inviting me then I started to think, ok…hmmm…a holiday…Nah…really???

I told my friend that about it and that I was considering going. I think when she heard his name, that that is the last person who I would want to spend a holiday with. And she asked, “People don’t spend holidays with just anyone, does that mean he’s trying to pursue you again..I mean, seriously, this is a MAJOR holiday….maybe he’s trying to make it up to you…. BUT…if he’s not are you ready for that?”

I hadn’t asked him what his intentions were. I feared that we’d argue about distance or freaking left over feelings or just the past in general. I didn’t want to ruin the moment, if rekindling was what it was.

One conversation we had before I went down there was about if he was with another girl. Meaning dating or sexually or whatever.

When he told me about her, I didn’t know how to feel and that’s when I started to fear that when I’d see him, I fall in love all over again.

I told him how he invited to Thanksgiving, a holiday I haven’t spent with a guy since 2005, we slept together, did couple like things, I feel I left on a good note- I feel like I have a right to ask are we dating again…

He said he wanted to be my friend. Let me tell you, I have a ton of guy friends. When we go kick it or spend night together because we have been drinking or we vacationed together, we never hold hands, we never wonder I’m going to sleep, we never watch TV and lean on each other. Again I ask are we dating again?

I’m driving myself crazy here because I’m not sure if I really just fell into a bunch of nothing, or if I messed a what could -have-been but wont-be-because- I -asked -about - relationship, or if he just got the holiday lay and proves me wrong- people do spend the holidays with just anyone.

I’m not the girl who he met last week, I’m the girl whom he met in 2006 on a dance floor in Vegas who was very married at the time, and I danced with him all night long and talked to him for several hours and gave him not one kiss until I met him again a month later and after I was with him, I freaking fell. Hard. And I try and try to talk to him, to get to know him and what’s he all about and what makes him happy, or what makes him laugh, or hell, just anything to get on his important people list for that matter and the moment I ask about a relationship, I’m the bad person.

Am I?

I want to be his friend. Don’t get me wrong- relationships need the friendship. But again I ask- why am I the bad person?

I’m this freaking woman in Seattle that is a mother, and loving person and in my eyes- a down ass chick for her man and dammit if I’m flying to California, I don’t want ass. I want to know this person cares for me and that they want to see me again and that I mean something. And I often think- look dude, if we are dating, I could be seeing your ass on Friday….or can we skip the bullshit and just establish something already?????

Do you know how hard it was for me to be with him, in bed, him inside of me and not say the words, I love you…now dammit..HARDER…DEEPER……*LOL*

………………………………............

And now he’s not talking to me….

Around the corner, I'm already starting to think of resolutions.

1. Be more organized- at home and at work.

2. Rebuild.* Financially and emotionally- 2009 has taken a toll on me.

3. Make the best of what I got.

I'm sure I'll have several more over the next few days...

It's Tuesday and it's cold!

 

Love:

The 8 hours of sleep that I got last night.

I asked my friends if any of them slept with Tiger.

My daughter and I had a wonderful time shopping on Sunday.

 

 

Loathe:

The holidays.

Emptiness.

Temperatures in the teens.